About Me,  Parenting

Miscarriage, we need to talk about it

My nĂºmero uno boy.

Before babies this little man spent every moment he could on my lap, snuggling on the couch and cuddling just like a human baby. He warmed my tummy through my pregnancies, he always knew before I did that I was pregnant, taking to resting on my belly on all three times (YES 3!) I’ve been pregnant. My first pregnancy being a miscarriage which was seriously tough when it was our first attempt at starting a family. I remember it being the Easter holidays and just feeling hollow. This guy sat comforting me on the couch for 5 days straight and helped me through it. I didn’t really tell anyone, I didn’t know what to say and I certainly didn’t understand that talking more openly with mothers (not that I knew many at that time) was actually the best thing I could have done. We don’t talk enough about miscarriages and still borns because it’s a taboo topic, because somehow it’s not warranted to consider a short pregnancy a real loss. After reading a friend’s post today about the loss of a babe through miscarriage it reminded me that it’s not a story I was comfortable telling until I started to build a mum network and learn just how common and often isolating the experience can be. If we all spoke openly about pregnancy before 12 weeks we would find so much more support from fellow parents who have lost their babes before full term. Like somehow it’s not as much of a loss to lose a babe before they are completely formed, when it’s in fact absolutely heartbreaking to have a picture in your mind of a life and a living being that will change your world. Please ladies and gents, don’t hold back if you’ve lost a babe but not been sure how the world would take the news, it’s heartbreaking and deserves to be talked about. Talk to your family and friends because I guarantee that babe means the world to you and is someone you may never meet, but will be in your mind & heart forever.